So often I try to find my worth on my own instead of looking at who I am in Christ. I look for ways I can make myself good enough without Christ. even if that means pretending to be someone I am not. I try my best to live as perfectly as I can. That is what I seek. I seek perfection in all areas of my life, and I am always disappointed because I never reach perfection. I feel like that is when I question God with my doubt and lack of faith. But I don’t want others to notice my doubt and lack of faith. I don’t want them to see my failures and mistakes. I definitely don’t want them to see my insecurities and the thoughts that go running through my mind. So, I pretend. I act like I’ve got it al together, that I don’t need help from anyone for anything.
I may strive for perfection, but I am as far from it as anyone could possibly be. I selfishly pretend that I can reach my goals on my own, that I need no one. I selfishly try to be good enough in my own strength, so others don’t realize how weak I really am. But honestly I am just a broken person in need of a lot of help.
Maybe, just maybe I am not the only one who feels this way. I know it’s tough to think you are supposed to have it all together for everyone, but I am pretty sure God gave us people in our lives because He knows we need them and we cannot live life alone. Think about it. In the Garden of Eden, God knew that it was not good when He made Adam and Adam was alone. So, He made Him a companion, Eve. And then it was good.
We need each other to get through this life. More importantly we need Jesus!